Shhhhhhhh.....

Nope, I'm not telling anyone I know I'm planning a wedding. I don't have a ring and the date has already changed once. I don't doubt that we're getting married. I'm not one of those "if I wish it enough, it will come true" kind of person. He would not waste his valuable time house hunting, or going ring shopping (and stressing out over it all) if he was not serious. He wouldn't involve me in his children's lives he were not serious (and I would not allow him to even introduce me to his children until it was 99.9% certain this is where we were headed).

But in the event something happens, I don't want egg on my face, he doesn't want egg on his face. We're pretty private people anyway. Even so, having dated for so long and being involved with each other's families, it won't come as a surprise to anyone. I just don't want to be one of those brides who gets caught up in only talking about the wedding, the kind of person everyone starts to avoid, especially when the bride is over 40.

Memo to 2nd time brides: Keep it to yourself as long as you can, then tell only who needs to know or you'll suddenly find your small wedding is not adequate for all the friends, co-workers, acquaintances you've met in your lifetime who assume they'll be invited. And, really now... just like it's not attractive for middle-aged women to bear their midriffs, it's not attractive for us to gush like 20-somethings doing it for the first time. Be happy, yes. Be a bottle of leaking syrup, no.

That said, I have told one person who is my confidant and old enough to be my mother since my own mother is not well and has cognitive problems now. Lenore is a real jewel and having had her own adult children go through divorce and remarriage, she is great with listening and advising. And, we do talk about other things in life most of the time. :-)