*yawn*
2xB: "So what do you want to do this morning?"
HTB: "Breakfast..." (*kiss*) ..."then I need to take care of some things today. We'll go to the movies or something tonight."
2xB: " Things? What's on your list? More laundry? (Hahahahahahahaha!)"
HTB: "Errands."
2xB: "Well, since I've barely seen you this week, like not at all until last night, how about I come with you?"
HTB: "No, I need to take care of some things on my own."
>>>eyebrows rising slightly...<<<<
>>>>pondering, don't want to be distrustful or overly nosey/naggy...<<<<
2xB: "On your own? What, will it invalidate your Man Card or something if I come with you?"
HTB: "Cute. Very cute." *kiss*
2xB: "But I'm not coming with you...?"
HTB: "No. But I'll pick you up tonight at 7:30? 8:00?"
2xB: "Sounds good."
*yawn* stretch, put feet on floor, groan because I'm middle-aged and those teen years of playing basketball and volleyball very aggressively are coming back to haunt my knees....
We head out to breakfast in separate cars, guzzle gallons of coffee, eat every bit of our waffles and make noises about getting into better shape, and laugh at the latest political foibles in the news.
HTB: "I gotta go, Sweetie. Is 7:30 good with you?"
2xB: "Sure. Jeans? Dockers? Pretty skirt to flirt with?"
HTB: "Jeans. We'll grab a movie and make some Tex-Mex somewhere."
He walks me to my car, kisses me...
2xB: "Are you sure I can't come along?"
HTB: (walking away) "Yes... very sure. "
2xB: "Wait... where are you going?"
HTB: "To see a man about a ring."
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Planning, his way, again
He's happy with the cake selection. I stop by the bakery once in a while to get a small cake in our chosen flavor for dessert and when he asks where it's from, I tell him. He smiles. He likes this bakery and this flavor and this cake. This is good.
Music he's still a little unsure about. We haven't visited with the pianist, but I remind him that we won't until I've got a ring and a firm date. The pianist is a friend of mine; I do not want to risk embarrassment, not that I think I'll have reason to be embarrassed, but I'm just not going to go there. I'm hoping that will bug him enough to get moving on the ring, but I don't know where we are with all that.
Flowers... I deliberately put very little money in the budget toward flowers so that it wouldn't be a big deal. I've told him the centerpieces will be made out of whatever flowers (probably roses or alstromeria) Costco has in season and can be put in large vases. Simple, inexpensive, and done. He likes that idea. No, I won't use carnations!
Invitations was about to be a major headache. I told him there was one store where every invitation book from every paper company in business was on the shelves. He was thrilled by the idea of going to one shop to see all the choices... until I told him the shop had at least 75 books which were each 5-6" thick with invitations, all different styles. Then I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Being the freakin' genius that I am, I pulled out a clear pocket folder with three invitation samples I pulled off the internet, all three with our probable wedding information filled in. I told him how I spent a slow day at work doing nothing but scouring invitations and pulled out these three, all three very different from each other. Fortunately, he liked the one I like best so that's the one will probably go with. When he mentions other choices, I ask him what day he would like to set aside to go to that one store with all the books. He breaks out into a momentary sweat and says the one we chose will be just fine.
But here's where it gets funny. I also scoured the 'net for Save The Dates. In looking at the millions of styles from very formal to very whimsical, I came up with a million ideas of my own. I've created a dozen original notes, customized them, and have shown him. He likes them all. But he won't pick one because he wants to come up with his own ideas. That's sweet, but he's not terribly creative in that area whereas that tends to be my strong suite. I put them away until I come up with another idea then pull them all out again and ask which one he likes best now. He likes them all, but wants to come up with his own idea. OK, when? He doesn't know... he doesn't have time to think about it right now as he's very busy with work. Right. And at the moment, I'm not so I have plenty of time to work on this so why not make it simple and chose one of these, or tell me to keep looking if he's just being nice and doesn't really like any of them? No, he wants to come up with his own idea.
We go through this again and again and each time I have newer creations to show him. He tells me I should start a business for Save The Dates. Maybe I will ... some day. But today, I need him to decide on what he likes best because these are going to be custom made by me. I need time to create the final prototype with the right papers, fonts, inks, in the right size for mailing, etc. And half of the ideas I have require assembly. I need a decision fairly soon. But he says he wants to come up with his own ideas.
I understand he wants to feel a part of this process. But he is very much a part of this process! {To wit, he's talked to the caterer, but I haven't!} He can think up ideas of his own, but he hasn't yet and I doubt he's going to spend a day sitting at his desk just thinking about Save The Date cards. Please. I just happen to have the time during the summer months to think about these things. Come Fall, I won't have a moment to sleep much less get creative.
Finally, I tell him it's not really flattering for him to dismiss my ideas in favor of a phantom idea that he may or may not come up with. I appreciate that he wants to be as involved as possible, but it's not being any less involved by choosing a design that I've created especially for us.
He understands.
We have not chosen our Save The Date cards yet.
Music he's still a little unsure about. We haven't visited with the pianist, but I remind him that we won't until I've got a ring and a firm date. The pianist is a friend of mine; I do not want to risk embarrassment, not that I think I'll have reason to be embarrassed, but I'm just not going to go there. I'm hoping that will bug him enough to get moving on the ring, but I don't know where we are with all that.
Flowers... I deliberately put very little money in the budget toward flowers so that it wouldn't be a big deal. I've told him the centerpieces will be made out of whatever flowers (probably roses or alstromeria) Costco has in season and can be put in large vases. Simple, inexpensive, and done. He likes that idea. No, I won't use carnations!
Invitations was about to be a major headache. I told him there was one store where every invitation book from every paper company in business was on the shelves. He was thrilled by the idea of going to one shop to see all the choices... until I told him the shop had at least 75 books which were each 5-6" thick with invitations, all different styles. Then I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Being the freakin' genius that I am, I pulled out a clear pocket folder with three invitation samples I pulled off the internet, all three with our probable wedding information filled in. I told him how I spent a slow day at work doing nothing but scouring invitations and pulled out these three, all three very different from each other. Fortunately, he liked the one I like best so that's the one will probably go with. When he mentions other choices, I ask him what day he would like to set aside to go to that one store with all the books. He breaks out into a momentary sweat and says the one we chose will be just fine.
But here's where it gets funny. I also scoured the 'net for Save The Dates. In looking at the millions of styles from very formal to very whimsical, I came up with a million ideas of my own. I've created a dozen original notes, customized them, and have shown him. He likes them all. But he won't pick one because he wants to come up with his own ideas. That's sweet, but he's not terribly creative in that area whereas that tends to be my strong suite. I put them away until I come up with another idea then pull them all out again and ask which one he likes best now. He likes them all, but wants to come up with his own idea. OK, when? He doesn't know... he doesn't have time to think about it right now as he's very busy with work. Right. And at the moment, I'm not so I have plenty of time to work on this so why not make it simple and chose one of these, or tell me to keep looking if he's just being nice and doesn't really like any of them? No, he wants to come up with his own idea.
We go through this again and again and each time I have newer creations to show him. He tells me I should start a business for Save The Dates. Maybe I will ... some day. But today, I need him to decide on what he likes best because these are going to be custom made by me. I need time to create the final prototype with the right papers, fonts, inks, in the right size for mailing, etc. And half of the ideas I have require assembly. I need a decision fairly soon. But he says he wants to come up with his own ideas.
I understand he wants to feel a part of this process. But he is very much a part of this process! {To wit, he's talked to the caterer, but I haven't!} He can think up ideas of his own, but he hasn't yet and I doubt he's going to spend a day sitting at his desk just thinking about Save The Date cards. Please. I just happen to have the time during the summer months to think about these things. Come Fall, I won't have a moment to sleep much less get creative.
Finally, I tell him it's not really flattering for him to dismiss my ideas in favor of a phantom idea that he may or may not come up with. I appreciate that he wants to be as involved as possible, but it's not being any less involved by choosing a design that I've created especially for us.
He understands.
We have not chosen our Save The Date cards yet.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Web sites for 2nd time brides?
There are thousands of wesbites for wedding planning - as long as you're a first time bride or a young "encore" bride doing it up big again. But I have yet to come across a web site for "encore" brides who are middle-aged, more mature, and who might have questions other than what to do about "blending" the families.
I don't have children, his children are mostly grown and live far far away. His kids and I genuinely like each other and have a great time when we're together but I will never be any sort of mother figure to them and out of respect to their own mother, I will not try to be someone I'm not. I will be their friend, an adult they can come to with problems if they so wish, and will, hopefully, be the woman who makes their father happiest beyond his wildest dreams. "Blending" families is not an issue for us. They have their own life, but will be most welcome to be a part of ours however much they wish.
Being the age that we are and having done the whole big wedding thing before, I know how to put together a wedding. I know how to do dinner parties, backyard parties, showers, cocktail parties, you name it. I got the whole thing down on how to address invitations. I know how to write a really good thank you note and I know to get it in the mail (snail, not email) inside of a week.
And I get from Emily Post and other pontificators of etiquette that I should wear a nice pale suit to my wedding, preferably something I can wear to a business meeting with a simple change of accessories, or something like that. And no matter what, NO VEIL. Alright already... no freakin' veil! I couldn't see through one anyway... I can't see without my reading glasses much less trying to walk with a bunch of mosquito netting in my face.
I'm confident in what we'll be doing. I guess I just want some sort of confirmation that I'm doing it right, that there isn't a new trend or a new rule I should know about.
I don't have children, his children are mostly grown and live far far away. His kids and I genuinely like each other and have a great time when we're together but I will never be any sort of mother figure to them and out of respect to their own mother, I will not try to be someone I'm not. I will be their friend, an adult they can come to with problems if they so wish, and will, hopefully, be the woman who makes their father happiest beyond his wildest dreams. "Blending" families is not an issue for us. They have their own life, but will be most welcome to be a part of ours however much they wish.
Being the age that we are and having done the whole big wedding thing before, I know how to put together a wedding. I know how to do dinner parties, backyard parties, showers, cocktail parties, you name it. I got the whole thing down on how to address invitations. I know how to write a really good thank you note and I know to get it in the mail (snail, not email) inside of a week.
And I get from Emily Post and other pontificators of etiquette that I should wear a nice pale suit to my wedding, preferably something I can wear to a business meeting with a simple change of accessories, or something like that. And no matter what, NO VEIL. Alright already... no freakin' veil! I couldn't see through one anyway... I can't see without my reading glasses much less trying to walk with a bunch of mosquito netting in my face.
I'm confident in what we'll be doing. I guess I just want some sort of confirmation that I'm doing it right, that there isn't a new trend or a new rule I should know about.
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